BONNIE "BEA" JEAN'S The Weight of Unrequited Love

My heart was broken this year. He didn’t love me back. 

The pain of heartache ran soul deep. It seeped into all of the painful memories I had hidden away. I felt deflated. My light was extinguished. I had no energy to escape. I laid in a dark, painful existence for months. Why didn’t he love me back? Why wasn’t the pain diminished yet? 

Because he wasn’t the root of my pain. He just highlighted it. I wanted to forget painful memories of domestic violence. But they came back to destroy me again. 

Ultimately, the love not reciprocated was the love I had for myself. I had abandoned myself long before he did.

And now I am learning to love myself again.